November 21, 2008

The “Randy’s Moviephone” Experience

I made a promise some time ago to take my sister-in-law to see “Twillight” (you know that vampire-movie based on that vampire-book written by the mormon who’s never seen a film or read a book about vampires?). I am not wholly uncomfortable about watching this film, afterall I go to see films in the theater very rarely so it’s always an exciting occasion. I was never “into” the Harry Potter series but found I enjoyed the films, so this is very much in that same spirit.

I made a phone call earlier today, to what I thought would be Carmike Cinemas in Great Falls. I thought I would reach an automated message listing all the current show-times. If lucky I’d reach a teenager in a cumberbund who might be able to tell me if any of the “Twillight” shows were sold-out or not. I did not know I would instead reach Randy.

Randy: “Hello?” he rasps into the reciever.

Rachel: “Oh, is this not Carmike Cinemas?” I return, audibly puzzled.

Randy: “Nope, this is Randy’s Moviephone!!!”

[Randy’s Moviephone? Is this some sort of jovial pass-the-time banter offered by a Carmike employee?]

Rachel: “I was looking at movie times…”

Randy: “What movie are you looking for?”

Rachel: “Twillight, the 10:50 showing.”

Randy: “What film?”

Rachel: “Twillight. The name of the film is Twillight.”

Randy: “Oh everyone loves vampires, Brad Pitt was a vampire! Everyone’s been a vampire.”

[Feeling emboldened, I venture to chat more openly with mysterious Randy]

Rachel: “Personally I have my own opinions on vampires, but really who am I to say they can’t be shiny?”

Randy: “I was just watching a movie myself. A Clint Eastwood film.”

Rachel: “Ah yes, he’s great right?”

Randy: “You’re a fan!?”

Rachel: “Who isn’t!”

From here we shifted from topic to topic, in some sort of conversation-limbo, never fully realizing or finishing a thought, but moving onto the next as it struck Randy’s fancy. I enjoyed the kind of freedom-of-subtle-mockery that comes from complete anonymity, feigning just enough interest to sound genuine, but chuckling softly away from the phone.

Let me tell you a few interesting things about Randy (which he managed to offer to me freely in our short 9 minute and 48 second conversation):

Has never used a computer.

Is a busy-body, likes to have busy hands.

Owns a pomeranian AND a yorkie.

36 (or was it 37?) neices and nephews.

Born sometime in 1960.

Unmarried, and looking! (ladies, watchout!)

Believes that “Twillight” has a two hour and fourty-five minute run time.

Other than nearly professing his undying love for me with, “I’d wash your dishes if we were married. I’m not gay or anything! I just like clean dishes.” it was a harmless and entertaining conversation. I would highly suggest giving Randy a call for info regarding your upcoming trip to the theater (or just to chat). I would also suggest checking all information given from Randy against an actual theater employee.

Randy’s Moviephone: (406) 453-3353

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